Week 9: There is a Blessing in Betrayal (Part1)

This post is from a Guest Contributor, my sister and friend Charryse N. Wright. 

There is A Blessing in Betrayal (Part 1)

Genesis 37: 1-4; 27 & 28

So let me give you a fun fact about me, I am the oldest of my mother’s four children. My mother is the second oldest of my grandfather’s three children.  I am my grandfather’s second oldest grandchild; however, I was the favorite of his seven grandchildren and if you ask my mom and her two siblings they would probably tell you I was his favorite fourth child.  If anyone in my family wanted or needed something they came to me to ask my grandfather because they felt my asking would guarantee a positive result and or reaction.  I remember being in middle and high school with my siblings and not liking school lunch so my grandfather would go pick up a 2-piece fried chicken meal and deliver it to me at school and everyone else had to eat school lunch.  My grandfather would cook all my favorite foods and serve me like I was a princess and no one could touch the food until after I ate.  

I loved every minute of being treated like a princess and I knew that there was nothing my grandfather would not do for me. However, while his behavior was wonderful for me, it alienated me from my siblings and cousins.  When it was time for my grandfather to leave our family home to someone my uncles and mother knew one of them would receive it, but nope it was given to me.  So now not only do my siblings and cousins have issues with me, my mom and uncles have resentment towards me as well. I did not do anything so I can’t tell you why my grandfather favored me, but I think it was because I reminded him of Mildred, my grandmother and his beloved wife who died shortly after my birth.  Whatever his reasoning was, him favoring me caused me to experience betrayal from my family members that has continued to affect our relationships to this day. 

So the story of Joseph has always resonated with me, because I understand being alienated, attacked, talked about and hated by those you love because you have been favored by someone else. Let’s briefly discuss the lineage of Joseph because he comes from a long line of betrayals and blessings.  Joseph is the great-grandson of Abraham who God called to be a great nation and a blessing. Abraham was married to Sarah who God promised would be the vessel that would bring forth the heir to this nation.  Sarah doubted God because of her seasoned age and barren womb; therefore, she gave her slave Hagar to Abraham to conceive this heir. That wasn’t God’s plan because God favored Sarah and Sarah’s actions were a betrayal to God.

When Hagar gave birth to Ishmael, Abraham’s first born, he that Sarah thought would be a blessing was now seen as a curse.  Sarah eventually gave birth to Isaac, he was the blessing in God’s covenant promise with Abraham and Ishmael was not.  Prior to Ishmael’s birth the tradition had been that the eldest son receives the blessing of the father but for Ishmael that wasn't the case because he was born out of wedlock. This led to animosity between the brothers that has had a continued profound effect throughout the years and continues to affect even our lives today.   Joseph’s grandfather Isaac is the direct descendant of the Jewish lineage, birthing the line that would give us Jesus Christ the Messiah and later Christianity, while Ishmael is the source of where Muhammad built the Islamic faith.  This betrayal occurred over 4000 years ago and the effects are still felt because Muslims and Christians remain at odds.

Joseph’s grandfather, Isaac gave birth to two sons Esau and Jacob, by his wife Rebekah.  Isaac loved Esau fiercely while Rebekah loved Jacob as intensely.   Esau, as his first born should have received the covenant blessings of Isaac but due to the betrayal of his mother and brother, Jacob received those blessings. This led to a deep-seated hatred that Esau developed for Jacob that separated the brothers.    Joseph’s father, Jacob married Leah and later her younger sister Rachel, who was the love of his life.  Leah gave Jacob many children, but it was the birth of his 11th son Joseph by his dear Rachel that filled his heart with joy.

And now here we are in chapter 37, Jacob favoring Joseph has led to a hatred and betrayal by his older brothers. Then to compound matters, God has favored Joseph and given him dreams of being a leader over his brothers.  As a 17-year-old boy, I would argue that he looked up to his older brothers and wanted to share in the bond and relationship that they had with one another, but unfortunately that was not the case. By God and Jacob he was favored, but by his brothers he was out-casted. I can understand how Joseph must have felt. He didn’t do anything special or spectacular to be favored and blessed. He just was! We desire to be connected to and in relationship with others, especially our family. But unfortunately, sometimes those closest to us are the ones who betray us and treat us worse than we can ever imagine. And in Chapter 37, the brothers hatred led them to betray their younger brother, first they planned to killed him and let a lion eat the remains, but decided to sell him into slavery to some Ishmaelites.

So let’s see if I got this correctly, if Joseph’s great grandfather Abraham hadn’t betrayed his son and Joseph’s great-great uncle Ishmael, then Joseph’s brothers would not have been able to betray Joseph by selling him to their cousins, the Ishmaelites.  Joseph’s story goes on to say that   Joseph went from being a favorite child, to being thrown in the pits by his brothers, sold into to slavery to his cousins, then sold again to Potiphar who would later make him the ruler of his house, then falsely accused of attempted rape by Potiphar’s wife and arrested, then forgotten about while in prison, to being freed for interpreting Pharaoh’s dream. The gift that caused his brothers to betray him is the same gift that was the catalyst for him being placed in a position to bless his family.  After 13 years of repeated betrayal Joseph was made ruler of the land by Pharaoh and this blessing allowed him to bless the family that betrayed him, by providing food and shelter during the time of famine.  But that’s next Sunday's sermon, so I am going to move on.  

What this demonstrates is God’s ability to take the betrayal of one generation to use as a blessing in the next generation. What resonates with me in this is that God will use our most painful experiences to help others overcome. It is very important that if we are the betrayed party that we don’t allow bitterness to set in. It is very hard but, we must seek Gods face to help us find healing and forgiveness.   It’s necessary because walking around with unforgiveness in our hearts is detrimental to us not the other party. We walk around angry and hating them for their bad behavior and they have moved on with their lives. Forgiveness is not saying you condone bad behavior, it is simply saying your bad behavior and/or decisions will not and cannot dictate or control my life.

In being favored by my grandfather, my mother like Joseph’s brothers was jealous of and hated me. This hatred allowed her to abuse me in my childhood which had profound effects on my life. I couldn’t develop or maintain relationships with women because I didn’t trust them.  I mean, how could I?  As kids we are taught our mothers are supposed to love and protect us, if she didn’t how could I trust another woman too love and protect me.  I HATED her, but my grandfather helped me realize the only one affected by my hatred for her was me. I was in bondage and she didn’t care. The abuse I experienced strengthened me in ways unimaginable & I found the blessing in the betrayal. I raised my siblings when my mother abandoned us. And when she needed to get her life together, God used me to help my mother, which helped my siblings and uncles find healing.  Not only did God use my betrayal to help my family it has been used to mentor and encourage and bring healing to countless other families who have heard my story of blessings in betrayal.

And lastly, we often don’t want to look at any betrayal we have caused others because it is too painful, embarrassing or we attempt to justify our bad behavior by placing blame on what the other has done to us! And if that’s you, we all need to take a moment to sit with that betrayal, accept our part, seek God’s forgiveness with our whole heart and if possible, attempt to right our wrongs.  I can all but guarantee you that we will reap what we sow, and if not us personally, then our children or our children's children.  While Joseph’s lineage was full of blessings look at all the pain and suffering that was experienced because of Abraham and Sarah's betrayal of Ishmael and Rebekah and Jacob’s betrayal of Esau! While God will, can and does produce a blessing out of betrayal it doesn’t mean that the betrayal does not have devastating effects on those experiencing it and that needs to be corrected!

Joseph's story of betrayal and blessing is not an anomaly in the Bible. The Bible is full of stories of betrayal, which later turned into blessings:

·         Adam and Eve Betrayed God

·         Cain betrayed Abel

·         Lot's Wife betrayed Lot

·         Lot betrayed His Daughters

·         Delilah betrayed Samson

·         Rahab betrayed her nation

·         Saul betrayed David

·         David betrayed Uriah

And Judas betrayed Jesus Christ, which gave us the ultimate blessing in betrayal. We would not be in this place together reading these words if we didn’t receive this blessing.  Don’t allow the betrayal to be the end of the story for you, give it to Christ and I guarantee you He will turn that betrayal into a blessing!