How to Find Grace as a Woman in a Man’s World By Ralen Robinson

How to Find Grace as a Woman in a Man’s World

By: Ralen M. Robinson

“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” Proverbs 14:1

I recently attended a meeting for one of the many groups I am a part of. Upon my arrival, I realized I was the only woman present. When I arrive at certain places, I subconsciously count the number of women vs men, along with the people of color around the table. This habit gives me the comfort of knowing that I am not alone or if I am what I am up against. In the midst of the meeting, I decided to voice my opinion and give feedback on the topic we were discussing. I was received with polite nods and acknowledgment. We quickly moved to the next person for them to say their opinion. It wasn’t until my ears perked up that I realized that the man reiterated the same thing I said only moments ago. Yet, his response was not met with polite nods nor sublet acknowledgment. He received comments and accolades of his brilliant take on the matter.

I sat there stunned because I was the one that brought that idea to the table initially and I was simply glossed over. How many times have we been glossed over? How many times have we been ignored, silenced or muted? This moment is not the only moment, as women are barely heard and our ideas are reiterated on the mouth of men. Every woman has felt that their voice has been muted or monopolized by their male counterpart. It is a moment that we have come all too familiar with. It is moment women from all walks of life have to endure no matter their socioeconomic status, race, ethnicity or family origin. It’s the reality that when our female bodies cross thresholds or enter into spaces that we have to speak a little louder, enunciate that much better and stand that much firmer

I sat in that seat, only stunned for a moment because I asked myself how I find grace in a man’s world.  How do I stand in my female form and be heard? The answer isn’t easy, and there are no simple fixes, tricks, or blueprints laid out to correct the disparities. It is, and will seemingly always be, a part of being a woman, and it cannot be tolerated any longer. We live in a world where women continue to rise in places of power and knock down the doors that once was locked to us. There are no more anomalies and random success stories, but is becoming more of a normal occurrence in the Church.

I sat there stunned for only a moment because what he didn’t know and failed to see was that women’s voices hold power. It was Mary, who after being incarnate by the Son of Man still stood up and said she’d raise him, regardless if Joseph was there or not, knowing she would be shunned by her community without a husband. It was Ruth, a widow in a foreign land that boldly proclaimed that she would follow her mother-in-law regardless of where she led her. It was Esther, who was willing and prepared to risk her life for her people. It was Elizabeth, whose faith was seen and unprevailing regardless of her obstacles and age. It was Hagar, who was forced into childbearing, stood strong and was blessed regardless of her being cast out and despised. He didn’t see that behind me were biblical women who stood on the helm of society and said I am a faithful woman who will not be contained, trapped in a box or moved. It was through my eyes, I saw the first African American Woman bishop be elected to my synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America on a warm sunny day. What he didn’t realize was that the clergy was no longer an all-boys club and we women were a force to be reckoned with. It is with our voice we were to be heard since 1970 when the Lutherans ordained the first female Lutheran Pastor in the Church. We will not be moved nor muted any longer because the call is not exclusive; it is for everyone with a fire and desire to proclaim the Word.

I sat in that seat and realized that he didn’t know that women's voices were ingrained in the scripture. In the Holy Bible, we use to guide, help and lead us to be better versions of ourselves and children of God. He didn’t know that some of our first memories were of our mother’s stern voices correcting us in our childhood, parenting us in moments where we needed to be guided, standing up for us in moments we needed someone in our corner and harsh love when they knew we just didn’t get it. It was on the backs of our grandmothers, mothers, aunts, and little old ladies from our neighborhoods that told us that we would make it and could do anything. They placed us on their backs and carried us until we were able to walk on our own. It was a woman who preached to us the very first time in the kitchen as she cleaned the collards, curled our hair and ironed our clothes. It was in that kitchen, church occurred as we gathered there for all of our lessons and verbal lashings to make us who we needed to be.

I sit in that seat now, unbothered, because I am, you are and we are all made of God's unyielding, love, grace and compassionate body. I sit now unmoved.