Leaning On Love By: Brandi J. Wardlow

Leaning On Love

Since 1998, like many, I’ve been singing ‘Lean on Me’ by Kirk Franklin featuring Mary J. Blige and R. Kelly (let’s not focus on Mr. Kelly, haha.). However, it wasn’t until recently when I had a spiritual epiphany listening to the song. On the bridge, R. Kelly sings “Tell me, how can I, how can I love Jesus, when I’ve never seen his face? Yeah, I see you dying, and I turn and walk away.”

In this particular moment, or season in my life, I found myself angry with a loved one. I was so angry that my approach to this person was almost less than Christian or Christian-like. I didn’t want to be around them, I gave up in believing in them and found myself questioning was I acting in love.

Now, I think it’s important to note that yes – we as human, and of the flesh can draw lines especially when someone is toxic. However, we as Christians, are also called to love, especially, as God loves us and at that moment, I had to complete a self-evaluation.

Of course, my faith leads me to stand firmly in saying, “Yes – I love Jesus and Yes – Jesus and God is real.” But, that’s faith. The substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen [Hebrews 11:1]. Yet, this person is someone that I can prove scientifically and realistically exists, but I lacked love. Therefore, not only was my actions or approach an act of ‘hate’ against my loved one, but also an act of ‘hate’ or disobedience against God.

That bridge in ‘Lean on Me’ actually derives from 1 John 4:20. Using the AMP version, the text says “If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates (works against) his [Christian] brother he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.”

I’m sure when people ask, “Do you love God?’ many of us are quick to say “Yes.” However, if we measure our love for God against his definition of how love should be expressed or given towards one another, we all may be committing an abomination to him which, is a lying tongue [Proverbs 6:16-19].

Of course, we all think that we love who we say we love but, sometimes that love is a reflection of our own understanding of what love is and not how love is defined or described in the text.

1 Corinthians 13 is always my go-to for learning, measuring and guiding my thoughts on love. I share this with you in hopes that together, we can continue to hold each other accountable.

1.      Loving others as an extension of God’s love for us. [1 Corinthians 13:1]

a)      The text begins with an indication that the basis of giving love is loving as God loves us. Thus, unconditional [Matthew 5:43-48]; forgiving [1 John 1:9]; merciful and gracious [Psalm 86:15] to name a few traits.

2.      Love endures with patience and serenity. [1 Corinthians 13:4]

a)      The text continues with reminding us to be patient, which, means with restraint and endurance. Mainly, this suggests being joyful in that season of waiting; slow to anger in our season of frustration; and, gentle or humble in the season of comparison, judgment or measurement.

3.      Love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. Love is not rude; it is not self-seeking; it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. [1 Corinthians 13:4-6]

a)      Here, the text reminds us to check our flesh or ego. Other scriptures support God’s direction for humility. For instance, [Galatians 6:4] confirms that we should test our own actions without comparison to others; [Romans 12:3] encourages us to measure ourselves against the scriptures; and, [Philippians 2:5] suggests keeping the same mindset with others as Christ Jesus.

4.      Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening]. Love never fails [it never fades nor ends]. [1 Corinthians 13:7-8]

a)      In closing, God reminds us of this agape love that he effortlessly applies to us. Remember, there’s nothing in this world which can separate us from the love of God [Romans 8:35-39] and therefore, this should be applied to our neighbor. Moreover, we know that through endurance we are made complete. Through perseverance, we lack nothing [James 1:4]

From that day on, I began to change my said-love for my loved one. I recognize that I failed short in my love for not only them, but for others as well, including myself. Although I am not perfect and am still very human, steadfastly, I try and love as God loves me. Also, my response to that is continuously thanking God that He is God and I am human because some days are easier than others. However, today, with our definition of love in mind, I encourage you to practice the same.

Closing Prayer

[P-praise, R-repent, A-ask, Y=yield]

God, thank you for your love. Thank you that you love me in a capacity in which, sometimes I am unable to love both myself and others. Thank you for showing mercy and forgiveness through your love and grace. Thank you that your love has carried me from the very beginning and that I can trust that your love will carry me to the very end.

Please, search my heart. Point out to me any acts of sin that I have committed which offends you. If there was a time that I said “I love” but did not live in the love that you described in 1 Corinthians 13, please bestow your forgiveness. Also, allow me to extend that same forgiveness to myself. From this day forth, encourage me to live in love and when I fall short, be just and remind me to love as you love me.

Amen.

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