Lessons from a Suicidal Prophet by Emmanuel Philor

Scripture: 1 Kings 19:4-9 

But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a solitary broom tree. He asked that he might die: “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my ancestors.” Then he lay down under the broom tree and fell asleep. Suddenly an angel touched him and said to him, “Get up and eat.” He looked, and there at his head was a cake baked on hot stones, and a jar of water. He ate and drank, and lay down again. The angel of the Lord came a second time, touched him, and said, “Get up and eat, otherwise the journey will be too much for you.” He got up, and ate and drank; then he went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb the mount of God. At that place he came to a cave, and spent the night there. Then the word of the Lord came to him, saying, “What are you doing here, Elijah? 

Lessons from a Suicidal Prophet by Emmanuel Philor

There are some conversations that the church is struggling with having because of the backlash that comes with them. We have arrived at the point of complacency in our walk, where we think we are Blessed and Highly Favored, Too Blessed to be Stressed and Living to Live Again but have forgotten that our lives are still filled with affliction. We are riddled with the reality that this walk is not all sunshine and roses. I hate this cliché Christian experience that forces us to act like things are going well when deep down inside we know that we are struggling. I want to send out a clear message today that It is okay to not be okay! You don’t have to fake it until you make it or tell yourself that it's already alright. I know the power of speaking things into existence, but sometimes I don’t feel like activating my faith. I don’t want to say everything will be alright, I just want it to already be alright. Some issues in my life won’t be fixed with a miracle rag, a prayer cloth or blessed water. In the roughness of my dark hour, I need a word from the Lord, and someone who I can rely on for a word is the prophetic role.  

I was raised by a generation of people who taught that a prophet is one who speaks truth to power and life into dead situations. To the marginalized, the prophet was an anchor of hope that God was going to stand up on their behalf and do a new thing. To the oppressor, the prophet was a sign that self—serving actions bear a price, in both this life and the next. The prophet was feared and respected by all. A prophet embodies the powerful speech of Martin Luther King Jr., the defiance of Rosa Park, the demand for justice of Malcolm and the Strategic Demanding of Rep. Maxine Waters.  One of the best examples of the prophetic calling in the Bible is our dear brother Elijah. Elijah is the prophet whose life and ministerial work would closely mirror the works of Christ. He was such a remarkable example, that he was one of the three biblical characters that met with Jesus on the mount of transfiguration. He had no issue with telling the truth, even if it could result in him losing his life. The reality of Elijah’s walk is that he was one of the poster children for ministerial life, but there is a dark truth about Elijah. Yes, he did trust God as he performed miracles. Yes, he witnessed God supply his every need. Yes, Elijah would be remembered for his life and his ascension into heaven. But the reality is that while Elijah was all of this in the eyes of the public, he also was struggling with depression. Hang out with me in chapter 18, and you would see where the break happens for Elijah that proves to us that there was something deeper going on.    

In Chapter 18, Elijah gets into a verbal exchange with King Ahab, which leads to the infamous duel of the prophets. On Mount Carmel, all of the prophets of Baal and Elijah face off to see whose god is the real God. They each built an altar and created a contest to see which God will come down and burn a sacrifice on their altar with a fire. Elijah allowed the prophets of Baal to go first. Elijah, assured of his belief, begins to taunt the prophets of Baal when there is no response from Baal. To make matters worse, when it is time for Elijah to call on his God, he drenches the wood and sacrifice with water first before crying out. Upon crying out, fire fell from heaven and consumed the sacrifice, proving that his God is lord of all. So, Elijah captured the prophets of Baal and killed them all. When we arrive at Chapter 19, Jezebel made a vow that she would cause this same demise to happen to Elijah, which caused him to run for his life. During Elijah’s run, he arrives at the point that we see in our text for the day. He is now tired of running and is asking God to take his life.    

Elijah finds himself in the position of many (not all) religious leaders, who preach a hope on Sunday mornings that they cannot find for themselves on Monday. They do all of the work of ministry without searching for validation or recognition. They push themselves to be everything that we need. They speak truth to power and life into dead situations, but in the end, they are burned out, stressed and depressed. Elijah just wants to throw in the towel. Some would say that Elijah didn’t want to die because he knew Jezebel would have killed him and he still ran away. If he wanted to die, he would have let Jezebel kill him The primary lesson that Elijah teaches me is that even when I find myself in a place where I want to give up, I need to know who is really in charge. Elijah is experiencing suicidal ideations but doesn’t take matters into his own hands. This is a passive stance, as he has not devised a plan on how to complete suicide, but he turns to God and asks God to take his life. To validate his need to die, he states that he is no better than his ancestors.    

I considered that this had to be a tough reality for Elijah because of the silent expectation that the children will do better than their parents. But a friend caused me to consider the reality of who his ancestors were. Having been an Israelite, his ancestors were among those who wandered in the wilderness, complaining about the conditions and often turning away from the will of God. If these were the ancestors that he was referring to, I can understand his plight, as he was in a wilderness state and he was complaining about the conditions of his life. But unlike his ancestors, Elijah knew that God put him into this place where he was in, which ensured that God would be able to take him out. This is a valuable lesson for many of us, who overexert ourselves and complain about our life situations. Instead of trying to fix our issues ourselves, we should seek God for aid in understanding our issues, because regardless of how we feel, God has a plan.   

Verse 5 blesses me because Elijah is complaining about life in verse 4 and has decided to throw in the towel but God responds in Verse 5. God performs a culinary miracle and brings Elijah food in a place where there was no prospect. This teaches me that even when I am throwing my pity party, God will still provide. Elijah was in a tough place in his life and found himself tormented with the weight of his own life. He found himself in a place where he was all alone. The role of prophet/pastor is typically a journey of solitude which makes it difficult to notice that we need the intervention of someone else. The truth of the matter is that Elijah needed a therapist. I raise this text before you this week because May is Mental Health Awareness Month. This is a time which raises awareness about Mental Health and the plethora of resources that are available for us. The reality is that we (Christians) are willing to give up on life, but are resistant to getting the help that we need. Everyone needs someone who would help us care for ourselves emotionally, in the same ways we need doctors for our Physical Health, Dentists for our Dental Health, Ophthalmologist for our osteopathic health and etc.    

The Christian conundrum is that there seemingly is no therapist in any of the biblical narratives. This being the case, feeds our conservative and fundamentalist perspectives because it is not in the bible. Jesus, who performed many miracles, never gave a referral to a therapist after doing a healing. This suggests that there was no need for one because God can heal us of the trauma that we endured before the miracle. While this is true, we must consider the role of the therapist on a deeper level and address the role of God and God’s intervention in our lives. While we know that God is capable of healing us of the trauma, God is likewise able to anoint and appoint a therapist to journey alongside us as we move towards our Purpose Driven Life. What if your God-given healing was wrapped up in a therapist and you haven’t been healed from your trauma because you are resistant to your help?    

Yes, the next movement of the text is God providing Elijah with meat and water, but that doesn’t suggest that his ideations were invalid. God initially provided him with the internal needs of sustenance because the journey of recovery would be long and arduous. This journey wouldn’t be one that he could journey alone on anymore. As people, it seems as in every other aspect of our lives that we have come to understand the fullness of the Genesis 2 statement about it not being Good for humans to go at life alone. We reach out for assistance or collaboration in most aspects, but don’t look for intervention when it comes to our emotions. It is possible because the vulnerability of our emotions will cause us to think that since we are the children of God that we don’t need the emotional support of others, but this text contradicts that very understanding.    

The reality is by the close of this chapter, Elijah would have a fellow prophet to journey with him in the person of Elisha. Elisha would journey with him until Elijah fulfilled his earthly calling. Elisha was Elijah’s help! When he was called up to be with the lord, Elijah dropped his mantle on Elisha, that he may take up the Prophetic responsibilities and carry out the work of their ministry. Though I recognize that Elisha was not Elijah’s therapist, I’d have to acknowledge that their relationship was therapeutic for Elijah. In this narrative, as well as throughout the biblical canon, we see God bringing in something or someone who can aid us in finishing our journey well. Which proves to me that the most important lesson from Elijah is that we cannot go at life alone. We cannot be ashamed to find the help we need. Having prayer sessions, reading the bible and other healthy devotional practices are a good coping mechanism but we need to get the help that God has for us. This Hope was not mutually exclusive for Elijah, as Elisha gained a friend and mentor as well. Which teaches me in the end that even in our Brokenness, we still can carry oil in our cracked pots. Which means that the true lesson of this text is that You can be: 

• Anointed and Abandoned 
• Blessed and be Broken 
• Compassionate and Cranky 
• Delighted and Depressed 
• Exalted and Envious 
• Forgiven and Foolish 
• Grateful and Grudged 
• Happy and Hurting 
• Intelligent and Idiotic 
• Jested and Jealous 
• Kind and a Killjoy 
• Laughing and Lamenting 
• Motivated and Mad 
• Nice and Narcissistic 
• Obedient and Objectionable 
• Playful and Phony 
• Qualified and Quarrelsome  
• Sincere and Sarcastic 
• Trendy and Troublesome 
• Ubiquitous and Umbrageous  
• Viable and Vain 
• Whimsical and Wacky  
• Xenodochial and Xenophobic 
• Youthful and Yappy 
• Zealous and Zooty 

But regardless of your position, God knows, loves and accepts the real you. Just like Elijah, God doesn’t get rid of you once you expose the first blemish on your life. So, I ask you to look inward, and notice that you are not blemish free. If we didn’t have a blemish, we wouldn’t need grace. So, I join in with a hymn writer and say:  

Amazing Grace, How sweet the sound That saved a wretch like me I once was lost, but now am found T'was blind but now I see