The Other Side of Kobe Bryant By Lawrence Claiborne

The Other Side of Kobe Bryant By Lawrence Claiborne

Many of us know that every day is full of limitless possibilities. Each day has the potential to make an indelible impact on us and those around us. We are cognizant of the fact that we are all multiple things to multiple people. For many of us who parent and/or are involved with youth we recognize that we have a responsibility to show up. I know many of us treat Sunday’s differently depending on our schedules. Some of us have to work because of our 24/7 “Glocal” realities that call us in non-traditional ways. Some of us see Sunday’s as a rest day and others love the tradition of Sunday Brunch. For others Sunday is a sacred day to start the new week with God, yet for many parents, Sunday has become an extracurricular day with children. With the increase in child-related extracurricular activities,  Saturday can no longer contain their schedules.

Now Sunday is a day of recitals, practices and games. Like you and I the Black Mamba was not exempt from this reality either. He too recognized all the more that his new normal was to be present for his children, which called him to a supportive sideline just like us. Maybe Kobe wanted to do Sunday Brunch, relax or make Sunday about God. What we do know is that for Kobe the sacredness of being a father eclipsed his own desires on that Sunday. Many of us know on that Sunday the world entered into collective sorrow when the unswallowable news was confirmed. Categorically we know that many people passed away and transitioned on that Sunday. Maybe somebody lost their fight with cancer, or took a nap and never awoke on that Sunday. In fact, since Kobe’s passing an innumerable amount of people have transitioned but if we can be honest with ourselves in this moment Kobe’s was different.

Our collective sorrow is not attached to what Kobe has done. We are able to go back into the vast archives of history and pull up his timeless highlights where he mesmerized the world. We can look at his work in film and admire his ability to interpret the game through “Dear Basketball” or “Detail.” What we all wrestle with around death isn’t the legacy that is left behind. What is painful to digest is the uncertain road ahead without our loved one. We must inevitably internalize that there will be no new memories to be made, no future conversations, no new questions asked, and no new content to absorb. If we are really transparent and vulnerable we recognize, like many of us, Kobe represented the duality of life.

Many of us admired Kobe’s Mamba Mentality because that translated to a lifestyle of dedication and hard-work that impacted our own passion and purpose. Yet if we strip back the layers we are wrestling with the other side of Kobe that was just coming to the surface for the world to see. It was the Kobe that opened up to us and let us in. In his next chapter, he was willing to show us more and we were falling in love with THE OTHER SIDE OF KOBE.

The Bible says that we ought to, “be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” (Matthew 10:16) In this passage, Jesus is sending out people to do the work that each of them is called to do. Although they were all headed into an uncertain world Jesus gives them solid counsel. Jesus says be wise or be mentally ready for the work, but he also says to be innocent or sincere and pure in your work.

The truth is that many of us don’t want to admit that we often struggle with this duality. The Mamba Mentality is the wisdom to lock-in on your target and objectives, yet the innocence of the dove is the ability to be vulnerable as well. Kobe mastered the Mamba Mentality and in his post-NBA pursuits exposed us to dosages of the dove. We admired the physical and mental gifts of Kobe, yet we seldom reached deeper until recently. The other side of Kobe modeled that the desire to want the best for someone else can transform the world. Humanity is at its best when we can be wise in our interactions, but also innocent and vulnerable with each other. There is no better sign of this than the pursuit of the Black Mamba to help GiGi become the Mambacita on that Sunday and others like it. His desire to be present for Natalia at her events like volleyball, the way he nurtured Bianka and Capri and how he and his self proclaimed “reina”, Vanessa, loved each other so deeply. Kobe was arguably the most cerebral athlete ever. He was a wise Black Mamba for the world, and he was a gentle dove for his family and close-knit circle. I can’t speak for anyone else but there is no greater honor than being able to authentically master this duality.

So we must use this moment to recognize that events like this also represent duality. Dr. Claudette Copeland helps us to realize that these events are coupled with both opportunities for grief and growth. We must now pray for the entire Bryant family like never before. We must do the hard work of dealing with the pain of this moment in our own ways. Some gathered in Calabasas, the Staples Center, Lower Merion High School or other global locations. Many have written on social media, myself included. We must get through this the best way each of us knows how. Once we have grieved properly Kobe would want all of us to grow. We can grow into the best versions of ourselves using the tools he left behind. We all don’t have to master the game of basketball, yet we all must pursue excellence in our respective fields.

Kobe’s transition has taught us yet another lesson in “Detail.” We have learned like the old hymn that, “time is filled with swift transition.” We have learned that even in the midst of our short and long term plans that life is not guaranteed beyond the present. Yet the culminating lesson that we must run with is the fact that we must be both wise and innocent, because Kobe has modeled that this world needs both.