This Ministry is a Mess by: Brandi J. Ray

This Ministry is a Mess: 

Brandi J. Ray

In Matthew 1:18, we find Mary impregnated with Jesus, and Joseph is ready to call it quits. Somehow, he’s just become this collateral damage in the story of Jesus. I mean, point-blank: His girl was pregnant and the kid wasn’t his. I’d be running the other way, for sure. But, the text says, after considering leaving, “An angel of the Lord” told him that “which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.” This child wasn’t a result of human error. For Joseph, I’m sure he looked at Mary’s pregnancy and thought - this public spectacle, a possible look and act of shame, I will seem like a silly fool, this road appears too hard for the journey. I just don’t want to deal.

But, somehow, God confirms that even in this perceived public spectacle or views of shame and silliness, and no matter how tough the journey – this was conceived from and of Him. This was by His design, and quite frankly, Joseph didn’t have much of choice. He, too, was purposed in this journey.

When you take away all of the dramatics of Mary’s and Joseph’s story, you’re left with looking at a particular and common wrestle in relationships: You have a role in your spouse’s ministry even when you didn’t sign up. We often think that our task isn’t as significant or demanding. But every position or act of participation requires some form of responsibility.

We may find ourselves not wanting to be actively involved because its’ our spouse’s thing, that’s not our interests, or we don’t necessarily see the point. We get caught up in what other people may think and even minimize the extent of the purpose. Another part of us struggles with the sacrifices we sometimes have to make to support our spouse. Somehow, we’ve become this collateral damage – the unintended result of a purpose. 

Transparency Moment. There should be some quote about heavy is the hand that holds the talent of writing or something. No, seriously. As a writer, I am tasked with using the power of words. What we know about words and the tongue is: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21). I don’t nor should I take my use of language lightly or deal blindly. My words have the power to hurt and heal – to share life and to kill. And sometimes, that can bring forth collateral damage. I can’t be too transparent, I shouldn’t be too selective, I can’t be too metaphorical, I shouldn’t be so general. I battle every time I pick up a pen between choosing what projects are conceived by God and what will cause collateral damage. I know it all sounds so simple. But, ministry isn’t simple. It’s like the pressures we place on Preacher’s Kids and First Ladies or the overwhelming expectations we require of Christians and their practice of Christianity. There’s an expectation, it can cause you to feel like a silly fool, and sometimes, the road just seems too heavy to bear. A poem that could heal a friend can also hurt another one. And as a poet, those closest to me are often the recipients of unintentional outcomes.

Something that I’ve concluded about purpose and calling is that they are intentional (Jeremiah 29:11), they work together for good (Romans 8:28), and all purposes conceived by God bears fruit (John 15:16). Each of us is equipped with a set of gifts and talents (Romans 12:6), we have the purpose of using them (1 Timothy 4:14), and our gifts are intended as service unto others (1 Peter 4:10). However, what happens when our ministry seems to be creating a mess? Your aim is just to make it through life, and God chooses you to carry out some task. Then, you’re left doubting yourself because it creates and makes you feel like an entire mess. 

I mean, purposeful messes are actually common in the Bible. God chose a murderer to lead His people out of bondage (Moses), he had Joseph’s jealous brothers sell him into slavery to save Egypt from famine, Jesus’ homeboy was a traitor and had Him killed for our sakes and, Mary pulled a Maury on Joseph with “you’re not the father.” Public spectacles, people looking like fools and facing public shame and people dealing with some real-life, ‘let me hold a grudge’ struggles. At some point, the mess becomes the ministry.

God's suitors for His purpose and will aren't accidental or coincidental. A quick look back in Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us that God's plans for us are predestined. It is our own selves that wrestle with our qualifications. But, if God called you to it, indeed, He knew you were capable. In Mary's case, she was the evidence of the direct lineage prophesized and spoken in the Old Testament of Jesus' bloodline. Her acceptance of her purpose, regardless of how odd, demonstrated her obedience to God. Her spiritual aptitude appeared fit throughout her journey with Jesus. I mean, do you really think God would've chosen some random for His son? So, Joseph couldn't have been random either. Even with his struggle to accept Mary's calling, Joseph is described as righteous and humble. His reverence to God is displayed in his obedience to remain with Mary. The traditions Joseph followed were in accordance with the prophecies that spoke of Jesus' coming. Thus, assuming that even Joseph's spirit also aligned with the word and will of God. 

Knowing that God doesn’t act out of randomness should comfort us that whenever we are called, it is for great reason. And the reason isn’t always because of the intended result but because of who He intended to call. What Matthew 22:14 shares is that many are, in fact, called. However, only a few are chosen. Those called are an example or display of those summoned and invited unto God. Those chosen are an example or display of those accepted and received unto God. Which, when called upon, is an act of God bringing us amongst Him. Thus, while Mary was charged with a gift, her husband was, by default, tasked to take part in the same responsibility of that gift. It was an intentional act to choose these two individuals to bring them closer to Him.

But, it's the flesh that brings us the mess. Despite how intentional and purposeful God's plan is with Mary and Joseph's coming together, Joseph struggles with his flesh. He struggles with what the world will think and what he will think of himself by accepting something that doesn't possibly make any sense. In Romans 7:18, we recognize that the flesh is the desire to do what is right (which, Joseph thought about privately divorcing) and not the ability to carry it out (Joseph's actual want to divorce). In Galatians 5:17, we also know that the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit that keeps us from doing what we want to do (in Joseph's case, wanting to be right with God). While intentional and qualified, our flesh prohibits us from seeing why or how we can be responsible for a ministry that doesn't even look like ministry. It is us that looks at the can't and won't. It is us that attempts to fight God on His final say.  

The ministry begins when we remove the flesh from the mess. I’m probably sure that Joseph looked at Jesus at least once or twice and thought, “you ain’t even mine, bro.” No? K. Just some light humor. But, no, really. Even when you know there’s purpose, our flesh has a way of reminding us that our gift isn’t always pretty. I’m sure Jesus was handsome, but the whole “I’m pregnant and not with your baby” thing has got to be a hard pill to swallow. It’s only a hard pill to swallow until the truth of God digests: what is conceived is from God. The purpose swimming in Mary’s womb was from God. The purpose behind my writings (I hope) is from God. The purpose conceived in you is from God. 

And sometimes, that leaves you feeling like you caused or are collateral damage. It makes you feel like your gift or role is leaving you on display as a spectacle, that you’re someone’s silly fool, or that this is all too much to carry. And guess what? At some points, that’s all very well true. Your purpose is to carry out work that not everyone will understand, want to be a part of or, will sometimes cause you to make sacrifices that you weren’t ready to make. And to add, we all know that the devil’s purpose is to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). So, with your purpose comes a whole new purpose attempting to challenge you, break you, and defeat you.

We know at some point, Joseph and Mary lose their purpose in a temple (Luke 2:41-52), someone tries to kill their purpose (Matthew 2:18), and ultimately, the purpose itself has to lead the way to another purpose more significant than you (Matthew 27:32-56). Nonetheless, our purpose is to answer when God calls – to draw closer to Him, bring those around us to Him, submit and surrender to Him, and use the gifts that He tasked us with even in all of the mess.

I pray that the call is not too hard for you and those around you to answer.

 

Be kind to yourself,

Mrs. Brandi J. Ray

(Did I mention, I got married y’all?)

 

Facebook: Brandi Janay Ray

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