The Gift of Self-Control by: Emmanuel Philor Sr.
Whoever is slow to anger
is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a
city.
The Gift
of Self-Control
Last night, I, alongside
over a million Rap Music fans, sat in our homes as we watched the Verzuz battle
between rappers Jeezy and Gucci Mane. The truth of the matter is that though
many of us began the night debating which rapper had a better repertoire, we
ended the night on very different lights. I lost touch with the battle itself
and became enamored with the weight of disrespect that transpired. This
disrespect was not mutual, but one-sided and premeditated. This action caused
many to lose respect for one of their favorite rappers. When Gucci played
"the truth", many rap fans gasped for breath due to the weight of the
lyrics in the song. Knowing the lyrics made many of us fear for the worst, but
a shift happened. Jeezy responded, but not in an aggressive manner. He offered
a response that proved that he had self-control. I would be the first to
acknowledge that Jeezy modeled a sense of Self-Control that many of the
Christian faith (I being one of them) may not have been able to follow. This
gift showed us what growth looks like, especially in the life of someone that
many of us grew up following.
Self-Control is not
something that is often discussed because it is a place of pure conviction for
individuals, the church, and the communities. The idea of wrestling through
your natural reactions and prove that you are in control of yourself is a
rather difficult feat. If I am honest, my wrestle with self-control comes from
the idea of how I will be viewed by others. While we may not see it this way,
this action proves that we are not in control of our lives. We often give the
communities we are a part of the privilege to control and micromanage us, to
the point that we no longer know what we want. To be forthright, we have been
bullied into believing that someone else's opinion of us gives credence to who
we are and whom we desire to be. What happens when don't feel like being whom society
has told us to be? What does it mean to be the person we are truly made to be?
The fear of these questions is the response of loneliness and solitude.
Being from the hood comes
with its baggage to live with, and those who emerge from that baggage are often
deemed a sellout. If one doesn't carry out an aggressive action following a
sense of disrespect, they are deemed a punk. If a man from the hood makes it
out by doing anything other than music or sports, they're weird. And the list
could go on and on. While the root of the issue is the people in our
communities spewing out negative thoughts towards the good in the community, it
is far easier to police ourselves and stop the actions that we commit that
either perpetuate the behavior or succumb to the ideals of that society. The
text before us brings to us this dichotomy by freeing us from the thoughts that
society has forced us to believe. Though one would believe that strength comes
from the one who uses their power outwardly, true strength is found in the one
who can control their own emotions, without the intervention of others. The
reactions to the actions presented to us are the easy way out, ruling or
controlling your personhood takes discipline. It speaks to your desires in life
rather than the burden of fame or consequential desires of others. This
behavior is modeled throughout the entirety of the bible, with many failures
in-between, because we don't always get it right.
- It was modeled by Joseph when Potiphar's wife tried to tempt him.
- It was modeled By Rahab when she hung a scarlet rope outside her window.
- It was modeled by David when he could have killed Saul but spared him.
- It was modeled by Nehemiah when people were taunting him as he built the wall.
- It was modeled by Job when his wife told him to curse God and die.
- It was modeled by Jesus when he was tempted in the Garden.
- It was again modeled by Jesus when he went up the Via Dolorosa.
- It was again modeled by Jesus when he hung from the 6th to the 9th hour.
I say all of this to
suggest, that truly, the gift of self-control is the freedom to be who you are,
without the weight of someone else on your decisions. This freedom could be
hidden within you. No one has the power to free you but YOU! The decisions we make
are ours to account for and we should make them because they are our desires. I
return to you this gift, the gift of Self-Control.
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