But, Even Now by: E. Philor Sr

 Scripture: John 11:20-22 NRSV

When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went and met him, while Mary stayed at home. Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask of him.”

But, Even Now

Imagine being grief-stricken, standing face-to-face with the cure to the illness that brought your loved one to their demise. I imagine that is painful. The awareness of this reality could cause the weight of grief to feel a bit heavier. There is nothing you can do to rewrite the past but this present reality brings us to the possibilities of what could’ve been, when you’re faced with the cure. To be clear, Grief is extremely heavy! While some would suggest that grief is love in a retrospective manner, I see the work of Grief in the present. A dear friend, Jeffrey Moretzsohn once reminded me that the gift of grief is that the memories allow us to go back. That in some sense, I can revisit every moment, every memory, and every milestone. The issue becomes that I can reproduce them into the present moment. The anticipation of those new milestones without that special someone plagues our minds while we approach a new bend in the road.

I, for one, have noticed that unless someone is familiar with losing someone near and dear to them, grief serves as a taboo topic. The constant stance to not acknowledge it serves as a bubble around, until that day when they are exposed. No one wants to ruminate on that hope, especially not prematurely. This is fresh on my mind when I think of the loss of my father one year ago. On the day immediately following his death, it seemed as if the arrangements for the funeral were more important than the pain his wife and children were experiencing. The pressure of it all can cause one to wonder about the new weight that grief brings to the family. Despite that pain, there is a need for the grieving family to keep moving forward and this is where we find ourselves in today’s text.

Family, this text comes after the illness and subsequent death of Lazarus, Jesus’s friend. The community has gathered to aid in the celebration of his life but more importantly, the grieving of his loss. Many might not separate the two, but I have learned that the two are separate. Crowds gather for the celebration but all too often, the tension of grief puts us in a space of isolation. So much so, that even when we are in a crowd of people, we wrestle in our minds all along. This is the headspace that Mary and Martha are left in. They are in absolute grief and shock that their brother, whom they have lived with and loved is now gone. What a tragedy! People are gathered around them but they find themselves alone, together. There is a piece of them that has been taken from them in this death. They find themselves wrestling with the questions about what else could’ve been done to prevent this moment. As if grief isn’t enough, I find myself in these moments buried with the guilt of not feeling I’ve done enough. This battle can plague one’s mind into thinking that you could’ve done something to change the current outcome. Because, Grief has a rabbit hole.

In the middle of the wrestle of Grief, the word comes that Jesus is coming. In the middle of tears streaming down her face, Martha jumps up and goes out to meet him. I imagine that some people don’t know of or about this Jesus whom Martha is running to go meet. Martha models for us a relationship with the savior that goes beyond face value. Amid her calamity, she still gets up to go meet her savior. She is left with these plaguing thoughts and finds herself being grappled by grief, which gives us no swift release. It’s at that moment that Jesus is coming. Even then! Even though her brother had died and she would not see him again until the resurrection; she still gets up to go and see Jesus. But, not just then. Even now.

Now, with a 2020 death toll that is over 3 million Americans. Now, with the novel Coronavirus plaguing the globe. Now, when Black and Brown people are facing disparities of all kinds. Now, when the Capitol building is being commandeered by supporters of our former president. Now, when those who have promoted inequality, identify as the party for law and justice. Yes, even now, when the Social Media Giant, Mark Zuckerberg has to intervene by blocking the Former President’s Social Media accounts to rid our nation of his bigotry. These are the times when we don’t scratch our heads to see what we will do next. Rather, these are the times when we stand up to our present situation and go to God despite it all. But Martha does two things that call for our attention as we journey on our Christian walk. The first of those things is:

 

Know the Capacity of the Savior

Before we jump to judging Martha, let’s not forget that Jesus received a message that Lazarus was sick before his death. This message came to him, giving him ample time to get back to Bethany and heal Lazarus, but Jesus took his time. Jesus gave Lazarus the time to die, before coming back to Bethany. Just by the present situation, one could gather that Martha was upset with Jesus. It could be my imagination but I could see an attitude when I read this. The type of attitude that’s accompanied by a head roll, clapping/snapping, and a loud belligerent voice. I can see her standing there in Jesus’s face, upset. Upset because she knew that He could have saved her brother before he died. Regardless of our anger and frustration, we can’t forget what we know. She brought that frustration straight to Jesus and said if you had been here, the situation would have turned out differently. She acknowledges her truth but makes room for His capacity. The gift of this acknowledgment is the suggestion that the God who didn’t show up for her, is indeed able to answer her prayers.

            Her position is that Jesus could have come soon to do something about her situation, but he chose not to. She recognizes that Jesus’s decision not to come to Bethany when they called for him, does not suggest a limitation of what Jesus can do. She knew that Jesus would have been able to save her brother while he was living, but it also suggested that she knew that he could do something else. She turns to Jesus and wrestles through her anger while she recognizes the capacity of the savior. This for me was a reminder that despite Jesus not coming through in the way that I wanted him to come through, he is still able. despite what the situation looks like, despite what I feel in my body, despite how frustrated I may be because of what has happened. Jesus is still able! And, the primary way of me reminding myself of this is knowing the capacity of the Savior. If I can't think about what He's able to do in the future, I have to think back on the things he's done in the past. Martha had history with Jesus, which suggested that she knew what Jesus had the capacity to do. If we, like Martha, want to remind ourselves of the capacity of the savior let's just begin to look back. But that's not all we should do, we need to likewise:

 

Believe Despite The Evidence:

The text takes an interesting turn when she finds herself in this spat of anger but is also confronted with her present reality. Regardless of it all, Lazarus is dead and the belief was that death is final. This mindset causes some to give up hope, but this is often a place of opportunity. Let’s look at the reactions of both Mary and Martha when they hear of Jesus coming. Mary remains seated because there is nothing else that can be done, and subsequently no movement is needed. Jesus is coming to see her because her brother died. Martha has a different approach to the evidence. She knows who Jesus is and realizes that despite it all, Jesus was able to do something. When she finishes her rant, she turns to Jesus and says but even now.

The conjunction “but” suggests that the earlier portion of the sentence will be negated by that which follows the conjunction. An example of that is: I was sick but now I am feeling better. I was blind but now I see. It shows us that there is potential for something different than what we are being exposed to. Martha teaches us the valuable lesson that despite the issue set before us, there’s always room for conjunction. This allows us to shift our thinking and creates a place to exercise our faith. I got a bad report from the Doctor, But even now. I didn't get approved for the loan, but even now. I didn't get accepted to the school, but even now. I didn't get the job that I wanted, but even now. I lost the person closest to me, but even now. Even in a Pandemic, God still has the potential to be God! When you believe despite the evidence Illnesses are healed, debts are canceled and your opposition will surrender. Because, even now! I know this won’t always be easy and there will be times, it is outright difficult but a songwriter once said:

 

You know the road is rough and the going gets tough

and the hills are hard to climb.

I started out a long time ago

and There is no doubt in my mind.

I’ve decided to make Jesus my Choice

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