The Other Side of Christianity: Even Jesus Wrestled by Brandi J. Ray

The Other Side of Christianity: Even Jesus Wrestled

As a child, I remember struggling with the theological aspect of Christianity. I understood the experiential concept of having a relationship with Christ. I honestly had no choice but to serve in the earlier parts of my life. But being raised Baptist-Christian and having attended Catholic school, some concerns circled my mind. However, no matter where I turned to answer some of my questions – whether it was to the Saints in my family, the teachers in my school, or the Pastor of my church, I was often told, “Don’t question God.” Instead of answering those weighty questions and appealing to my intellectual curiosities, I was given this speech about how “Jesus paid it all,” and that should be enough for me. But it never was.

Throughout my life’s journey, I have surmised that as Christians, we often romanticize the crucifixion. Yes, romanticize. We tend to describe something far more beautiful and appealing than what it really is. Theoretically, yes, we should venerate Christ’s sacrifice on Calvary – after all, it is the basis of our faith. However, very seldom do we acknowledge the complexities of the weight of Christianity. We tell these stories especially to non or immature believers about how accepting Christianity is the most beautiful and life-changing experience we will ever confront. But, the harsh reality is that both experiential and theological approaches to Christianity come with bittersweet compromises that the self often wrestles with. Even Jesus wrestled.

The Weight of the Invitation: Matthew 26:38-40

When we meet Jesus in Matthew 26, we find Christ hosting the Last Supper with the disciples. It is in this scripture that we learn one of the familiar phrases, “The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.” It is this declaration from Christ that encompasses the Christian’s everyday struggle. The spirit of the Christian is by far always willing, but our flesh (our minds and our hearts) are weak to the point of also always wrestling. The same could be said of Christ in verses 38-39.

What we should know at this point is that Jesus is preparing for death. In a few short verses later, Judas will come to betray Jesus and offer Him up to the Pharisees. And while Jesus has the foresight of what will take place, the burden or the weight of the call heavily weighs on Jesus as He turns to God and prays.

Each translation offers different synonyms to describe Jesus’s mindset. In verse 38, some translations state that Jesus was:

·        The Voice: overwhelmed with grief

·        The AMP: His soul is deeply grieved

·        The Passion: His heart is overwhelmed and crushed with grief

Each of these pointing to an all-knowing Christ hurting by the task which lies ahead. The following verse, verse 39, shares that Christ then directly turns to God and prays:

·        The Voice: “Father, this is the last thing I want If there is any way, please take this bitter cup from Me.”

·        The AMP: “My Father, if it possible [that is, consistent with Your will], let thus cup pass from Me.”

·        The Passion: “My Father, if there is any way you can deliver me from this suffering, please take it from me.”

While Jesus understood the assignment and knew that regardless, He would have to complete the assignment, it still was a cumbersome burden to carry.

This example of Christ’s wrestles is not to diminish His desire to please and serve God. The closing prayer of verse 39 directly shows that Christ was willing to give Himself to God how God had commanded of Christ. However, Christ shows that even the greatest of those called still wrestle with the implications of the self. The agony of knowing that death was upon Christ sent Christ into an overwhelming state to the point of grief and despair. Who and what Christ was expected to be burdened Christ, although it would eventually glorify God. Christ was very honest with God about having fears and took those fears directly to God.

The Weight of Arriving: Matthew 27:46

When we meet Christ again in the next chapter, Matthew 27, Christ has been condemned to death and is on His way to making the ultimate sacrifice. By verse 45, Christ is at the brink of death, already suffering on the Cross.

Theologically, theologians have concluded that Christ’s cries in verse 46 is parallel to the prophecy in Psalms 22 about the Messiah’s suffering. However, nonetheless, it does not take away from the cry which Christ offers back to God.

The AMP and the Voice state that Christ calls, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?” while the Passion translation uses the term, “deserted me.” Each of these showing that at some point, Christ felt that God had departed from Him.

Again, theologically, God had to depart from Christ. Christ could not complete the crucifixion without God having left Him. Why? Because for Christ to save our souls from the damnation of Hell, Christ couldn’t have done this with God at His side. Theoretically, it would defeat the purpose of Christ’s crucifixion.

But, contextually, Christ’s plea in Matthew 27:46 shows a pivotal and very honest plight of the Christian – that even in fulfilling God’s will, one can feel disconnected and departed from God.

It was no fault of Christ that God had departed from Him. Christ did not frustrate God, nor was He being reprimanded. In the very moment, Christ was crying to God; Christ was making the ultimate act of glorification to God. However, Christ showed that even the weight of accepting the invitation to do God’s will is not always beautiful nor easy-going. It sometimes comes with an authentic and troubling agony on the flesh and makes you question whether or not God has forgotten the faithful servant.

The Weight of the Sacrifice: Luke 23:46

Luke 23 is parallel to Matthew 27, whereas they both detail the final physical human moments of Christ. However, Luke’s detailed description includes the last words of Christ on the Cross to include His total and devout surrender to God.

Scientifically and theologically, all have debated on the matters of how Christ died. Some indicate that Christ couldn’t have died by crucifixion alone in a matter of hours, at least. While others propose that God magically killed Christ. But the answers to what caused Christ’s death are apparent in verse 46 alone.

·        The Voice: “Father, I entrust My spirit into Your hands.”

·        The AMP: “Father, into Your hands I commit My Spirit.”

·        The Passion: “Father, I surrender my Spirit into your hands.”

Despite the debates, verse 46 makes clear that Christ sacrificed Himself. Christ entrusted, committed, and surrendered His being to God. He no longer wrestled with Himself and, therefore, rested in the glorification of God. He offered Himself wholly and entirely to God’s will and presented Himself and His entire being to that of God.

While these words do not indicate any struggle or wrestle, unlike the first two scriptures examined, the importance of this action and these words describe the absolute struggle in which the Christian experiences. 

The question becomes, “How do I move myself from wrestling to reconciling with God?” And what Jesus exemplifies is that the answer is quite simple – you die to self.

The Other Side of Christianity: Matthew 16:24-26

Right before we begin to follow Jesus [in this present blog] in Matthew 26, Jesus had a serious charge for the disciples in Matthew 16. In the 16th chapter, we meet Jesus in a place where the Pharisees constantly try and persuade Jesus to prove to them that He is the Messiah. In the next section, Peter makes the confession on behalf of the disciples that Christ is the Messiah. Jesus then shares with the disciples the truth about His purpose and the matters of the crucifixion. However, in the final verses, Jesus tells the disciples the truth about the other side of Christianity – you will have to deny yourself.

The Passion translation tells us that you must reject and disown your own life. The AMP says you must set aside your selfish interest and express a willingness to endure whatever may come. Likewise, the Voice records that you must deny yourself the things you think you want. The common theme in each of these translations: you must fully offer yourself to Christ, as Christ fully offered Himself to God. 

When I tell you that we all wrestle with God, I mean it. We all wrestle with God. We all wrestle with God on our interests, wants, and ideas versus His. Each of us quarrel and conflict with whether what we are doing is right. We all come to a place where even when we think God has commanded us, we still feel disconnected. Like Jesus, we all can feel that there is a weight to accepting the call to surrender wholly to God. 

But what makes Jesus peculiar is that He didn’t take this wrestle to the disciples, to His mother, or even the Rabbis. Christ sought God directly. He spoke to God directly. He took each issue and matter up with God. From His wrestle to accepting the weight of death to dying on the Cross and feeling forsaken – He spoke to God. And even after feeling that God had deserted Him, He still entrusted His spirit to God.

Like the others in my life, I don’t want to romanticize Christianity for you. Instead, I want to reassure you that even our greatest teacher quarreled. I do this not to sow doubt but to deliver you from the condemnation of thinking that Christianity means perfection. For us, accepting God doesn’t always mean that we accept His ways instantaneously. While we are most confident and aware of what it takes to be a Christian, our flesh isn’t always willing to meet the demands. But, it is okay. Some of us will have to die to ourselves, on our Cross, every day. Every day and sometimes even every moment, we have to make the same plea of Luke 23:46 and entrust, commit and surrender. The beauty of this is that Jesus’s death did cover us when we can’t even admit that we need covering. 

So, today, I speak to you to remind you that wherever you are in the entrusting, committing, and surrendering process – don’t fear speaking those doubts, fears, and worries to God. Like Jesus, make your requests known to God. Even when you feel that God has departed from you (which, He hasn’t), still be in conversation with Him. It does not make you any less of a Christian to express concerns – it makes you honest about where you stand, what you need and, who you need. All things which God is more than willing to answer and to deliver. 

May this season of your life bring you to a place where you are honest with yourself and God about how you need God to operate so that you can entrust, commit and surrender to glorifying Him.

Be kind to yourself, 

Mrs. Brandi J. Ray